Droplets

One of my favorite things about this time in my life is the establishment of new traditions. Take Thanksgiving, 2024. I got up early to pick up my son in Manhattan, and we went to the spa in Jersey where we spent many lovely hours, relaxing, refilling and chatting away.  It was a cold, rainy day, and we enjoyed the billows of steam that rose from all of the hot pools.

As we were watching the rain fall into the pools, we noticed that some of the drops cause bubbles, some produce little spheres that rise up out of the water, and some cause water pillars that vanish in fractions of a second.  And of course, some just vanish without a trace. I assume it has to do with size and velocity of said raindrops.  Or maybe it is the angle the raindrop falls that causes the difference.  I actually have no idea. But one thing I try to focus on at the spa is nothing. Just relaxing my mind, let my mind be still and quiet as I enjoy all of the delights all around me.

I was able to allow time to slow down, to start looking at the ripples that span out from a raindrop, it is my belief that it is during this time that my brain heals, the synapses that were shaky restrengthen, and perhaps new folds start to fold, enveloping new thoughts and sights and experiences. I’m grateful to have the peace this year that I haven’t had in many years.  I’m amazed that another one of my dreams has begun to come true – that I would regain some of my previous intelligence.  After everyone died, I had a fog descend on my brain – the fog of exhaustion, relief, anxiety, grief, loneliness, and then betrayal.  It settled on me like a mantle I couldn’t shake.

Thanks to time, therapy, a death doulah, my health coach, my sweet and supportive family, my adorable grandson, a job I adore and a handful of new friends, and patience, it is starting to return. I taught myself how to do sudoku and do it every morning in the NY Times along with all of the other puzzles. I’m starting remember things like the password to my wi-fi network, and appointments that I didn’t write down, and I’m even considering reviving the budding cruciverbalist in me. When I get a crossword puzzle published by the NY Times, that will be a great cause for celebration! 

Anyway, a lovely time of a new tradition – spa in the morning, champagne in the afternoon with the family, and Chinese food for dinner.  When it got dark – around 4:30 pm -  I packed up and headed home to spend a quiet evening in my lovely haven.  

Looking forward to endless new droplets of fun in the years to come.