The Toilet Whisperer
I’m not sure how to tell this story – because it is completely out of character for me. But I have to come clean and make a confession – I fixed 4 things in the last few days, all by myself.
The first – the toilet that has run incessantly since I’ve moved in. I’ve jiggled the handle. I’ve lifted the lid off. I’ve yanked on a chain or two, and then put the lid back on, jiggled the handle again, and then closed the door and ignored it. I even gave it a serious talking to. It didn’t care. But it has been bugging me. So, I enrolled in YouTube University – and tried to diagnose the problem. I then ordered a flapper-dooley. Then it arrived, and (don’t die), I installed it. Of course, I used picture hanger-wire which was not featured on YouTube, but then ordered the correct zip ties, and will refix it when I feel like going swimming in toilet water again.
The second – the refrigerator had this ghastly red flashy thing that said I needed to change the water filter. Who changes water filters? What is a water filter anyway? Ridiculous. So, I re-enrolled in YTU, and not only found HOW to change the thing, but where it is, and how to get it out. I ordered the thing, and I replaced the thing, and I reset the thing – and now…it’s PERFECT! Fresh, Filtered Water!!
Third thing – and you may think this is a simple fix, but it wasn’t. I recently bought a sound bar for my fancy TV. I admit, I paid a Task Rabbit pro to install it (so it would be straight), but then suddenly, it quit working. I was offended and spoke to it sternly. I also pushed every single button both on it and on the remote. Then, I thought it may be the remote’s issue, so I figured out how to get the cover off the battery cover on the remote (no small feat), and I ordered new batteries. I changed them out with great trial and tribulation. Still didn’t work. So then – I resorted back to some lizard brain knowledge of my own, and I unplugged said speaker. I left it alone for 5 minutes before I spoke to it again. I plugged it in, and shockingly – stunningly – it worked.
One more terrifying, yet true, tale. My little rolling cart which I use to take things from Ruby to home – well, she’s a lovely rolling cart, but not very strong. The other day, I totally overloaded her with a case of water as well as our beach chairs and toys. She protested by losing a wheel. This was a bitch-move, for sure, but I understood her pain. I dragged her to the car in a lopsided way, and examined the damage. I weighed my options. Fix her or ditch her. Today, I dissected her and carried the offending part into an Ace Hardware where they told me and sold me what to do. $1.47 later, I’ve got what it takes to make her whole again. Who knew there were bolts and bolt glue?
I did the happy dance each time, which makes 4 happy dances in two days. Can you imagine? 4 happy dances in two days? It has been a long-damned minute since that happened.
Speaking of happy dances – Arthur’s favorite thing this weekend was watching me imitating monkey noises– and he’s now blowing spit bubbles – very elegantly – opening his mouth as the bubbles form, and blowing a nice big bubble and laughing his head off. He’s so intentional in his play these days. Stacking blocks, putting the rings on the stand, putting big brick toys together. He understands colors, and when I arrived, he presented me with the ‘lavender block’. It is my favorite block – no lie. My favorite thing is when he is standing on the window sill looking out at his kingdom, and when he’s ready to come down – he simply leans back, into my arms, and knows I’ll be there to catch him. I’ll always be there to catch him.
