Tempest in a Tea Pot
Tempest in a Teapot
I live on the shore of the Hudson River in New Jersey. I’m looking out over a cloudy day, with light rain falling. But the weather reports I’m receiving are DRAMATIC! And meetings are cancelling right and left for “severe weather disturbances and our personal safety!” I’m confused.
Right now it is about 42 degrees F. The wind is blowing a little, but it is lovely. Earlier today I received a warning from my apartment building about storm preparation: “Due to the scheduled weather forecast of intense wind and rain, access to the rooftops on the 5th and 6th floors will be unavailable starting at 12 pm.” Ahem. It is 1:00 pm, and so far, the intense storm is a big nothing-burger.
I’ve noticed this before. Is the life of a weather person so dull that they must concoct these ‘extreme warnings’ to rile folks up? Is there nothing else to do? Are we really at risk of life and limb here?
When I lived in one of the most inhospitable places in the world, Laramie, Wyoming, in the 1980’s – now THAT was weather. Not to sound like an old geezer, but JEEEEZUS, that place was cold. One time, my hair broke. I went outside and down our outside stairs to my well-below-freezing car, and my hair was wet – well, it froze, and then it broke off in a chunk. I’m not kidding.
When it is 35 below zero and 60 MPH winds – now THAT is cold. When it’s 42 and breezy – meh. Not too impressive. Now it is even warmer. The breeze has gone up to 17 mph, but the temperature is nearly 50. To listen to the weather-gal, though – we’re near extinction.
Which leads me to the ridiculous, insane, excessive and stupid use of hyperbole in our language today. Do you know, my use of exclamation points is up over 50 percent?!?! How in the hell is that FREAKING possible, people??!
Just for fun, I’m looking at today’s headlines:
“Weather conditions are deteriorating in DC and NYC. Here’s what to expect.” Um….does that mean it is getting rainier and windier?
“Deadly winter storm puts more than 17 million under tornado watch”
“Nearly 75% of Florida counties are under a state of emergency”
“Video shows tornado wreckage”
“The world is dangerously close to a global warming limit”
“Storm still hammering much of the country”
Those were just the first few headlines I read. Now “ARTIC BLAST WARNING – Arctic Cold Blast on its Way!”
Okay, people. Let’s get a grip. I am a firm believer that we are messing up the planet and climate change is real, but winter happens. Every single year. And once the hyperbole becomes common, it becomes boring and ignorable. What is the next set of extreme phrases to use? Watch any Real Housewives show, and the “F” word is already used every other word. What next?
I mean SERIOUSLY! I’m IN A PANIC! I’m SLAYED! I’m DEVASTATED! Oh pul-ease. Get a fucking grip.
